Sarah Palin Book Deal with KenArnoldBooks?

The word is on the street (see Page Six of the NewYorkPost, that literary and entertainment hot spot, which we thought was for chicks in bikinis): book and talent agents are ready to give former Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin a ton of money for a book and/or entertainment.  Random House says that several of its imprints are ready to talk to Palin because “conservatively-centered politicos usually sell very, very well,” according to Stuart Appelbaum, a spokesman for RH. (I had no idea that imprints could talk. Like parrots, I guess.)

Ok. As the publisher of a new company with close ties to Governor Palin’s hairdo (see The Palin Prophecies), I am eager to get into this bidding war. KenArnoldBooks may not be the size of Random House, but we have just as much ego. And we love books that are “conservatively-centered,” which seems like a contradiction in terms. Like most Big Apple publishing houses, we too are whores of Babylon, willing to take on an occasional politician without language skills or coherent ideas. Yup yup.

Since we already have a hot Palin property (The Palin Prophecies, as noted), we actually think that Governor Palin may be moved by the Holy Spirit to bring us her next book. We are going to ask our attorneys to pray about it. But since a lot of this work will be done in sophisticated washrooms like The New York Post, I would like to put our offer to Governor Palin right out on the web where everyone can see it and not rely on our attorneys (we have two of them). I think Random House and Mann Media, to name two of our competitors, should do the same. Let’s see the color of your money.

We’re offering Sarah Palin up-front, cash money, $500 for the rights to her tell-all book about running for Vice President. Yup. You heard that right. $500 American–small-town values at a small-town price. Beat that, Random House. Oh, and we will launch the book right here in Portland, Oregon, where we know The Divine Sarah is deeply loved and supported. 

Because we are interested in big ideas (not just Page Six fluff and big hairdos) here at KenArnoldBooks, I want to mention a few items we will insist Governor (or Senator or President in Waiting) Sarah Palin discuss in her book:

1.  Clothing

2. Talking loud and pointing fingers

3. The future of the English language

4. Shooting God’s creatures from Cessnas

5. Bringing on the End Times for an unbelieving nation

6. Grumpy old men

7. Suntanning in Alaska

I think that the American people will want to know about these issues that have not been much discussed in the past 60 days.

We will be sending our offer to Governor Palin and hope to announce the successful signing of this hot property within the week.

Yes, we will.

Palin’s Prayer Warriors: Happy Halloween

Meet two of Sarah Palin’s prayer warriors: Pastor Thomas Muthee and Apostle Mary Glazier. You know Muthee as the witch hunter who annointed Sarah Palin in a spooky church service early in the summer. Glazier is also a wtich hunter friend of Palin’s and is just as nutty (as Muthee, that is….).

Since it’s Halloween, we thought it appropriate to mention Palin’s connection to witches (getting rid of them, that is).  For a thorough review of her engagement with the New Apostolic Reformation movement, Joel’s Army, The Third Wave, Spiritual Warfare, and other really strange religious organizations, visit this roundup story: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bruce-wilson/palins-spiritual-war-netw_b_139646.html.

You might also want to read some parts of The Palin Prophecies, which reveal more about Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin and her interesting ideas on God, witches, and the role of Alaska in the coming End Times.

It has been suggested that November 4, 2008, could be the beginning of the end….If Palin is nowhere to be found on November 5, it may be a sign that the Rapture has begun. Look for a pile of abandoned designer clothes on the floor of the Alaska governor’s mansion.